@lizetagge: Before. b-e-f-o-r-e, not B4. We speak English, Not bingo...
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@KeetPotato: wife: dont say anythin stupid on the way out me: i wont [shakes priest's hand after lovely wedding ceremony] me: so are you god's boyfriend?
@Mish3l_Ali: Girls can be so ungrateful, I made her breakfast in bed, & instead of saying "Thank You", she's all like "How did you get into my house!"
@cbdoubleu: [Gets arrested] Officer: You get one phone call... *hangs up a few minutes later. Can you turn the radio up? I requested a song.
@RandiLawson: I really hate to get religious on here, but have you seen the thigh gap on Jesus. DAYUM!