@lizetagge: Before. b-e-f-o-r-e, not B4. We speak English, Not bingo...
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@punmagnate: Sup girl, I hear u like bad boys *I open the wrong side of juice carton* *evil spirit flies out* Oh, so that's why they say don't do that
@trouteyes: Policeman: Name please? Woman: Cheryl Cole Policeman: Your FULL name Woman: (quietly) Chernobyl Coleslaw
@veronaway2: I admire the guy who named duct tape. He was a marketing genius. He knew naming it abduct tape would be more accurate, but a harder sell.
@simoncholland: Waiting for everyone in this church service to bow their head in prayer so I can update my fantasy football roster.