@OhNoSheTwitnt: Before Batgirl can become Batwoman she has to have a Batmitzvah.
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@smilely_gal: 7: "Mama, if someone licked the treadmill, would that someone get sick?" Me: "Are you the someone?" 7: "Maybe" Holy hell.
@Mikecanrant: Its weird that goldfish will eat other goldfish but wont eat goldfish crackers. Life sure is complicated sometimes.
@CelebrityChez: Wow, what a day. I volunteered at a soup kitchen, caught up on my scrapbookin', went 2 baby shower, ran 9 miles, then told lies on twitter.
@jakob_huber: Lost in a corn maze? Light it on fire. Turn it into a popcorn maze. Eat your way out.