@DareDarilyn: Before being born, I wish I would have been able to select the difficulty level of my life.
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@LindaInDisguise: You guys, I seriously never ask for prayers but this is an emergency. There is a rumor that Red Lobster might be closing. Pray. Pray hard.
@aparnapkin: Hinder: an app that locates available singles nearby who will stall your life in some significant way
@HeyZeus666: My dad use to take me to the circus to see the tattooed man and the bearded lady. Now, I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart.
@kcmoore51: Does everyone have that ONE follower who will Fav the hell outta every RT...but wouldn't even piss on your own tweets if they were on fire?