@DareDarilyn: Before being born, I wish I would have been able to select the difficulty level of my life.
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@1Happytwit: Kids don't scare me cause their little arms aren't strong enough to swing a chainsaw.
@ceejoyner: Misinterpreted some rabbit prints in the snow and told my scout troop to look out for babies running at 35mph.
@ChribHibble: The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn't the hygiene, but that everyone walks around like they're hatching a dastardly plan.