@KimmyMonte: before camouflage clothing was invented, people would just stand still and make tree noises.
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@AsphaltFarmboy: My black friend asked me if there was a colored printer in the library. I said "WTF man, it's 2015. You can use whatever printer you want."
@trentistweeting: [staff meeting] PRINCIPAL: ok guys, we built a room to hold our P.E. class. what should we name it? [Jim slowly raises his hand]
@TheDailySchmuck: Every time I'm the only black person at a party I think: "Wow. I helped them make quota."
@kDuncanG: I like my women like I like my bamboo: graceful, strong, and constantly in threat of being eaten by pandas.