@Shanehasabeard: Before cell phones and texting, I used to get pulled over a lot for playing solitaire with a physical deck of cards while I was driving
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@mynameisntdave: People who carry their dogs around, You know they can walk, right? Theyre real good at it. It's like one of the top known things about dogs
@PoorEvelyn: Queen Elizabeth is celebrating 60 years on the throne. I assume it was something she ate.
@toomanytoes: "Endless shrimp" sounds nice until you realize they are serious. It's a threat. The shrimp will never stop.