@KevinFarzad: Before college I didn't have a degree, or money, or any idea what I was doing with my life. But NOW I have a degree.
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@dafloydsta: WIFE: He treats our marriage like it's a talk show THERAPIST: Is this true? ME: *turns and winks at camera* We'll find out after the break
@RobDenBleyker: Paula Deen should create her own brand of butter called I Can't Believe It's Not 1860.
@causticbob: I wrote 'DIVORCE', my wife wrote 'YES'. Tough way to find out, but at least I won our last game of Scrabble