@KevinFarzad: Before college I didn't have a degree, or money, or any idea what I was doing with my life. But NOW I have a degree.
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@PaperWash: [dog on trial for murder] lawyer: who's a good boy? dog: I am lawyer: your honor I rest my case
@NoogsCorner: Women just want to make us better men, not drain our life essence. And sharks are just trying to kiss us but their teeth get in the way.
@Lindzeta: I hope the guy who just cut me off in traffic has his fav book made into a movie & the characters are nothing like he imagined them
@MindyFurano: Shit. Gotta huge job interview tomorrow and I have no clue where I put my prom dress