@wendchymes: Before company arrives we like to clean our house so there's no evidence that we live like circus monkeys the other 364 days of the year!
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@RamblingMachine: Some fairy tales start with "once upon a time". Others start with "If I won the elections".
@JayCee302: Me: "I really like this car" Salesman: "Yeah and it also has a latch in case someone gets stuck in the trunk!" Me: "Eh, what else ya got?"
@LizHackett: "Dammit. I had shit planned today." -- a spider being carried out of the house with a cup and piece of paper
@WheelTod: [Lying on the grass, staring at the full moon] Her: You looked different in your profile picture. Werewolf: I forgot to check the calendar