@walkerwalt: Before encouraging everyone to "do whatever makes you happy," ask if anyone is a sadist. Don't encourage the sadists.
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@OctopusCaveman: Me: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: I’m an alcoholic Me: Ok, but I can only afford one.
@Robert_Beau: The Job Interview: HR: So you are bilingual? Me: Si HR: In your native tongue please. Me: Ooga Booga
@Divergentmama: I've never understood the saying "you want some cheese with your whine?" Of course I want cheese. I always want cheese and also bring me some wine so I can be happy and get a buzz while I complain, please.