@walkerwalt: Before encouraging everyone to "do whatever makes you happy," ask if anyone is a sadist. Don't encourage the sadists.
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@noog: Everyone’s all worried about World War III. Worry about the important shit. Batman’s fighting Superman in 2016.
@CheetoBandito77: This lady cashier asked me if I wanted it "double bagged"...I said "No, you're not THAT ugly..." And that's why I'm not allowed in Target.
@TheMichaelRock: Something you may have in your house right now could be killing your children. We'll tell you about it in 2 days. - Local News