@weinerdog4life: Before gravity was invented you had to tie down your cows or your cows would just float away
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@sammyrhodes: I love donuts so much I want to marry them. But then I'm afraid I would eat all our donut hole children.
@SuperJuanderer: [cats on a date in a fancy restaurant] Male: I can't decide if I want tuna or the salmon. Female: *Slowly pushes pepper shaker off table
@sexncake: I'm trying to become a vegetarian so from now I'm only eating seafood. Like lobster, prawns and drowned cows.