@weinerdog4life: Before gravity was invented you had to tie down your cows or your cows would just float away
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@Moemontes: To the dude i just saw driving a beat up Ford mini van with spare tire and dream catcher on mirror: that dream catchers not working dude!
@SamuelHLowe: She invited me over for a romantic dinner and told me I was the dessert. I wanted ice cream.
@ilovepie84: The Tin Man carries around an axe because he is constantly afraid Ironman is going to hit on his wife.
@Dustinkcouch: An assault rifle that only shoots blanks should be called a JK-47! I am fun at parties please invite me to them.