@weinerdog4life: Before gravity was invented you had to tie down your cows or your cows would just float away
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@ehdannyboy: "Always give your food a rinse before you eat it," my dad always used to say. Lovely man. Made terrible sandwiches.
@DragonflyJonez: Future said "I wake up on a daily basis" so he other does so much drugs that that's an accomplishment or he doesnt know thats what people do
@Maxine12333: Daughter saw old clothes I've saved for sentimental value & said 'I bet you cried when the last dinosaur died too'. She's out of the will.