@hippieswordfish: before guns were invented, armies had to throw bullets at each other and if a bullet touched you, you had to sit out until the next war
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@Cpin42: Crucifixion art is so depressing. Every time I look at Jesus, I can’t help thinking...I’ll never have abs like that.
@TomItUp: "Objection your honor, the defense is badg-" BADGERING THE WITNESS! JINX! You can't talk. *Judge gives a respectful nod* "Case dismissed."
@StellaRtwot: Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you're doing it.
@PoliticallyILL1: I'm sick of closing out every job interview with "I was young. I needed the money."