@TheThomason: Before handing your wallet and wife's necklace over to that angry gunman, pause to consider how sweet it would be if your son became Batman.
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@paulrobalino: Aoccdrnig to Ylae rseaerch, it deosn't mtater waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are in, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is how mcuh mnoey you hvae
@Kim_pulsive: I'd rather be hit in the face with a shit-filled sock than to ever attempt helping my parents install a DVD player over the phone again
@buhsbaby_baby: Autocorrect just changed "carnie" to "catnip" and now all my friends think I slept with a bunch of catnips last night.