@jwoodham: Before I do anything important, I always ask myself "would this gain house points for Gryffindor or lose house points for Gryffindor?"
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@NickJoesbury: G.C.S.E's I've lied on my c.v for the last 10 years not one fucker has checked them, B in maths yeah right, I can't even count to B
@HavocMantis: Whenever I work out, I wear a push-up bra so I can do more push-ups. If I didn't, it'd be so embarrassing and people would laugh at me.
@ShawnIzadi: Walked into the bathroom and it sounded like someone was powerlifting in one of the stalls. That, or an exorcism.
@werehedgehog: Bae: Come over. Romeo: Can't. You're a Capulet, I'm a Montague. Bae: Deny thy father and refuse thy name; come over. Romeo: Also, you're 13.