@HappyHijabbi: Before I get busy doing nothing, I am taking a 20 minute break.
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@InternetHippo: ME: *falls in love only w/ people who are mean to me* Why does this keep happening [flashback] GOD: *points to me* Make that one an idiot
@aveuaskew: Today I learned not all people are appreciative of vetriloquism. Especially my gynecologist.
@shawnspree: Father's Day is the day my wife gets on all fours and lets me do ANYTHING I want to her. I usually lay back and use her as an ottoman.