@HappyHijabbi: Before I get busy doing nothing, I am taking a 20 minute break.
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@craigrachel: The dogboner /Neil degrasse Tyson situation has been an elaborate ruse all so Michael hale could claim on gawker that he has a girlfriend
@PieChord: The only time my ex will ever scream "DEEPER, DEEPER" is when they are lowering my casket into the ground.
@DaHess1: My wife and I do this cute thing where she sends me pics of kitchen towels she can't decide on buying and I google my life expectancy.
@TheMichaelRock: Why did you have to take a half naked picture in front of a full length mirror to show off your new haircut?