@Dadpression: Before I had a child, I never knew that quietly disposing of a balloon could feel so much like a murder.
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@EllDavey: I go in bars in a suit & tie, drink all night & write tweets down in a notebook. They're not quite sure if I'm the district manager or not.
@GrantTanaka: Man buns are just the beginning, next thing you know it’ll be ok for men to have anything on their heads, like a goat or a small child
@LaurenRP: I went outside without makeup on. A child cried and I think a bird flew into a window on purpose.
@ericarhodes: If I was a fashion designer Id call myself "who" so when celebs are asked who are they wearing they can say "Who?" "Yes who?" "Yes."