@Dadpression: Before I had a child, I never knew that quietly disposing of a balloon could feel so much like a murder.
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@PaperWash: Can you imagine getting the girl of dream's phone number and her first text to you she spells it "defantely"
@ieatanddrink: My neighbor put up like $3,000 worth of Christmas lights but I showed him by putting out a nativity scene with like 20 baby Jesuses
@DurtMcHurtt: The guy I cheat off moved seats before today's spelling test, like he's teaching me some kind of lessen.