@JustinGuarini: Before I had kids I never really reflected on life's little mysteries. For example, why is my toothbrush under the couch?
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@daemonic3: FRIEND: Make sure you walk her to her car [hours later after date] HER: It's been 18 miles ME: I insist HER: But you drove both of us
@BuckyIsotope: I will be celebrating Columbus Day by setting sail for India, landing in Spain, and telling everyone who lives there to move out.
@MTV2GuyCodes: Oh, some guy screwed you over? Would you like to explain how the whole male population is responsible for this?