@LuluLanternFish: Before I really understood sarcasm people would say things like "oh, well look who it is" and I'd be like "it's me Karen, I'm your daughter"
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@redpawn3: I could totally handle twins, triplets even quadruplets. Hold it, you're talking about BABIES?
@PlatinumShower: Every time the wife pisses me off, I hollow out her tampons and pack them with strawberry Pop Rocks.
@mattZillaaaa: I love how fresh & clean my bathroom smells after I've killed a spider with a full bottle of windex