@LuluLanternFish: Before I really understood sarcasm people would say things like "oh, well look who it is" and I'd be like "it's me Karen, I'm your daughter"
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@iamspacegirl: Dad Dragon: If we weren't supposed to eat them they wouldn't come w plates and toothpicks now finish ur damn knight Teen Dragon: I hate you
@NicestHippo: [girlfriend yelling] You have an unhealthy attachment to your pets with weird names! [she knocks over my dead hamster's shrine] GILGAMESH!
@JediGigi: Me: [uncontrollable sobbing] I can't see you anymore. I won't let you hurt me again. Trainer: It was a sit-up. You did 1 sit-up.