@nice_mustard: before mcdonald's i bet "don't buy cheeseburgers from a clown" was a pretty hard and fast rule
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@upsidedowntrash: [God creating lizards] God: How about a snake with arms and legs? Snake: [trys to throw its arms up in disgust, but just remains very still]
@daemonic3: [trying to impress fiancée's entire family] Waiter: Your bill for- Oh I got it! [looks at bill & spits wine] WHO ORDERED THE "SUBTOTAL"?!?
@Staggfilms: ROBIN: How come you wear dark colors but make me wear a bright yellow cape? BATMAN: [under his breath] It’s called a bullet magnet. ROBIN: What? BATMAN: What?