@nice_mustard: before mcdonald's i bet "don't buy cheeseburgers from a clown" was a pretty hard and fast rule
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@causticbob: An Italian engineer was kidnapped in Nigeria. Demands were sent via email to his family, but they just got deleted as spam.
@TheMichaelRock: If you draw a picture of a butthole on the questionnaire, there's a 95% chance you'll get out of jury duty. Would be 100%. But, Texas.
@djdarrellripley: Her: All the men have jackets on. Why didnt you wear the sports jacket I got you? Me: You bought me a ski jacket Her: Skiing is a sport!
@jenhasgreathair: Sometimes I worry that maybe I'll never have sex again then I look at OKCupid and kind of start to feel at peace with the idea.