@nice_mustard: before mcdonald's i bet "don't buy cheeseburgers from a clown" was a pretty hard and fast rule
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@SamTR7: *Spider exam: How to scare people out of their mind* ✘ Fly ✘ Breathe fire ✔ Sit still on the ceiling and mind your own business
@gobmentcheese: If horror movies have taught me anything it's that you can build a house on an Indian burial ground & yet still be haunted by white people.
@Tommytoughstuff: [getting an x-ray] TECHNICIAN: Quit putting that box of chocolates on your chest. ME: Just tell me which ones are coconut.