@ehdannyboy: Before pulled pork, pork just used to stand on the edge of the dance-floor, nodding to the music and looking cool.
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@GrrrRach: Operator: 999, emergency services. Which service do you require? Me: Oh! Don't mind me, I was just cleaning cake off the touch screen.
@themiltron: interviewer: why do you want this job me: i've just always been very passionate about not starving to death
@EndhooS: [Blind date] Girl: I've always had a bit of a thing for bad boys Dog: [starts putting on his coat] I don't think this is gonna work out
@Gooooats: By this time of year baby Jesus was probably already totally sick of playing with his frankincense.