@PanicRestroom: Before records were invented, people used to say: u sound like an opera singer that keeps repeating himself
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@AndrewNadeau0: REPORTER: How do you feel after serving 6 months under house arrest? ME: I did not realize that had started.
@seamussaid: son you're getting older and one way I show my trust in you is letting you tackle some tough jobs on your own; bathing the cat for starters
@smilely_gal: 7: "Mama, if someone licked the treadmill, would that someone get sick?" Me: "Are you the someone?" 7: "Maybe" Holy hell.