@Mindless4Miles: Before seeing why your toddler has been quiet for 10 mins it's best to first call the plumber and write your apology letter to the landlord.
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@BradBroaddus: It's hard to tweet and change the baby's diaper at the same time.nnI probably should have waited until I got to a red light.
@thenatewolf: Date: my worst fear is not living up to my own expectations. You? Me: that if I ever lay across a piano while I'm singing it won't hold me.
@bornmiserable: [United] This is your captain speaking. Underneath each of your seats is a broadsword. In the words of Highlander, there can be only one.
@Adar79Angie: I sat down beside this guy in a diner, every time he went to take a bite of his sandwich I'd say nomnomnom. He left. Making friends is hard.