@booyahchadly: Before sending a tweet l always test it on my wife first. If she rolls her eyes and leaves the room, l know it has potential.
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@StellaGMaddox: My minivan is always rocking, but it's usually because I'm trying to smack one of the kids in the backseat while I drive.
@Xoolun: My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with bodybuilding. I could feel the weight lifting from my shoulders.
@bdbdleeroybrown: I wish you'd told me you were happy just flirting on twitter. I've already bought plane tickets and murdered my wife.