@booyahchadly: Before sending a tweet l always test it on my wife first. If she rolls her eyes and leaves the room, l know it has potential.
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@numbertze: When playing tug of war with a 2yo, it's best to remember they're pulling really really hard and holy shit they travel fast when you let go
@djdarrellripley: Her: She's too young for you. Me: Based on what? Her: Based on the number of times the Earth has orbited the sun since she was born.. Me:
@daveexplosm: Ever since Facebook allowed images in their comments sections people only ever communicate via pictures. We're 21st-century cavemen.