@booyahchadly: Before sending a tweet l always test it on my wife first. If she rolls her eyes and leaves the room, l know it has potential.
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@Dishy2101: Car next to me in liquor store parking lot has a family sticker. She has SEVEN kids. I better get in there quick! She's gonna buy it all.
@Sleinso: *Goes to local train station* *Runs into platform 9¾* *Head bangs against wall* Family: What were you doing? Me: *whispers* Pfft! Muggles.
@doktorj: Damn boy, are you the black jelly bean? Because I absentmindedly picked you, and now I regret having you in my mouth.