@KenJennings: Before the Internet, I guess I just assumed all my friends knew how to spell "definitely."
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@ilovepie84: Mall security asked me to empty my pockets. My response was "you won't find a better job or respect in my pockets"
@ScottLinnen: Riding up in the elevator with a bunch of children. So much screaming & crying. You'd think one of them would ask me what the hell's wrong.
@TommyKarate: Local video store is offering a chance to win free iPads, so naturally, I reported them as spam.