@KenJennings: Before the Internet, I guess I just assumed all my friends knew how to spell "definitely."
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@Brampersandon_: ME: I fell off a 50 ft tall ladder once GIRL: holy cow how did you survive ME: I fell off the bottom rung
@TheUnseenMe: You know that warm feeling you get when you look at your spouse? It's called acid reflux.
@BuckyIsotope: Cookie Monster delivering the eulogy at Bert's funeral. Head bowed low. Stillness. "Me want cookies," he sadly intones. "Me want cookies."