@KenJennings: Before the Internet, I guess I just assumed all my friends knew how to spell "definitely."
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@lisawhiteWHAT: My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?
@BlondAmbitionTO: If you say "anyways" instead of "anyway," that's alls I needs to knows abouts yous.
@TheTweetOfGod: "God is good all the time!" Yeah. Not you though, Russ. You sucked for 55 frigging minutes.