@AristotlesNZ: Before their conflict with the Decepticons, the Autobots won a much less interesting but emotionally charged war against the Emoticons.
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@dietredbull: it's gotta be as much fun for a slinky to go down an escalator as it is for a human to walk on a treadmill
@TheTweetOfGod: "Why do bad things happen to good people?" To even out the good things that happen to bad people.
@LurkAtHomeMom: Fitness tip: It's absolutely crucial to take "rest days" when working out so you don't get hurt. I've recently taken over 300 of them.
@fillthevacuum: "Ohhh, that's what you meant by period sex" I say, removing my powdered wig and waistcoat.