@AristotlesNZ: Before their conflict with the Decepticons, the Autobots won a much less interesting but emotionally charged war against the Emoticons.
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@CaniacMONK: *Sees thing on floor *Vacuums over said thing *Vacuum cant pick it up *Picks up thing *Looks at it *Puts it back on the floor to vacuum
@HomeProbably: When people ask me about my hobbies, I tell them I'm into birdwatching, photography and meeting new people. It sounds better than stalking.
@PerkyandSaggy: *Girl opens Xmas present* "Why'd you get me carrots and lettuce?" "Wait but that means-" *Hamster at home wearing glorious diamond earrings*
@aveuaskew: Witnessing a person attempt to use a word that is beyond their comprehension is like watching a dog eat a bee.