@abbycohenwl: Before they built this Trader Joe's, there was just an empty field with wild shoppers politely blocking each other's way
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@HeidiCF8: Hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throwing away anything, EVER. I smuggle out broken crayons like a mexican drug lord.
@noog: The biggest threat to mankind is aliens somehow receiving transmissions of Xbox Live conversations and deciding to just blow up the planet.
@Book_Krazy: Boss: You're late! On Friday, I made it clear that anyone arriving late would be fired Me: Well I didn't know! I ducked out early on Friday