@amishschool: Before Twitter I had to disappoint people in person.
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@Dani_Feld: All I do is eat, drink, sleep and tweet. I'm basically just a more annoying version of a Tamagotchi.
@imchriskelly: "What charities do you donate to?" "I mostly just leave sunglasses all over the world."
@DannyZuker: The most romantic restaurant in the world is not as dimly lit as the operating room on a TV medical drama.
@MichaelTrying: Darwin is a genius. Just realized I'm attracted to women in glasses because I'm more likely to reproduce with a woman who can't see me well.