@michaelianblack: Before we hang out, please be advised I will be spending the rest of the summer talking like Bane.
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@thebeckyard: I was completely offended, but then you said "no offense," so now everything's cool.
@MrJeremyHorn: So apparently I've been Googling 'Asian Prom' this whole time. I watched like seven videos before I realized they weren't going to bang.
@mejustbeth: It seems like I only lose weight when I don't buy ice cream. Can someone else start buying my ice cream for me please?
@omically: saying "we won" after watching a sports game is like saying "we played really well" after watching a concert