@WigCannon: before x-rays doctors had to climb inside people and draw a picture of their bones. some still do
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@generaldietz: NEMESIS: i hate you ME: i hate me too. and the enemy of my enemy is my friend NEMESIS: so can you stay the night? ME: i'll ask my mom
@FuckabillyRex: If you didn't wanna see 157 pictures of me eating cake, you shouldn't have put me in charge of the PowerPoint presentation, boss.
@DesecratedJewel: Co-worker: How are you today? Me: *starts writing death threats on the wall in period blood.*
@Tylerosis: What if bananas turn black and bruised because they run their own fight club when we're not around?