@YoungNobler: Before you cannibalize your roommate due to cabin fever, remember that you cannot afford the rent alone. #blizzard2016
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@justabloodygame: *singing scales* Do, Re, uh... *calls Lionel Ritchie* "Hey" Hello! "What comes after Do & Re on a music scale?" Is it Mi you're looking for?
@WheelTod: If asked at a job interview "what's your biggest weakness", test their tolerance for honesty by replying "mortality"
@DaddyJew: Oh no, my kid got upset at me and locked himself in his room. What ever will I do. Margarita anyone?
@Home_Halfway: I love this time of year, where my massive spider webs and the dead guy in my living room are "Halloween decorations" again.