@Annoyinglyhappy: Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then when you criticize,you are a mile away from them & have their shoes
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@Audenary: 'What other miracles can you do?' Jesus: I can varnish 'You mean vanish?' J: *running finger over a beautiful oak table* aha, not quite
@canadian_makin: Me: hello I've run out of toilet paper Front desk: oh I'm sorry for the inconvenience Me: oh no worries, but I've also run out of towels
@_ElvishPresley_: [Horsemen tryouts] APOCALYPSE: I like u guys but I only need 4 *Death, War, Famine, Conquest & Steve look at each other* STEVE: dang it
@Darlainky: Maybe naming my new hippie themed bar Free Spirits was a bit misleading. Lesson learned.