@Try2StopME: Before you decide to spend less time on social media, make sure you go to every social media website and tell everyone.
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@JohnLyonTweets: Not only was my brother not mad when I backed into his Porsche, he even invited me camping and said to bring a shovel. Whew!
@philmann: [me narrating a documentary about narrators] "I can't hear what they're saying cuz I'm talking"
@MatCro: CENTAUR: My dad slept with a horse MINOTAUR: My mum slept with a bull PIGOTAUR: My dad was Prime Minister.