@sarcasticmommy4: Before you have kids, practice yelling "GET UP NOW OR I WILL TAKE YOU TO SCHOOL IN YOUR PAJAMAS!" & see if it's right for you.
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@bingowings14: Been to the hospital to get a mole checked. Apparently they all look like that & I should've just left it in its hole in the garden.
@KizerBillhelm: Ever look in a mirror wondering about the stranger staring back & then realize it's your neighbor's window and they're calling the cops?
@SteveSuckington: [high school] Teacher: do u have your homework? Ryan Lochte: I was murdered last night