@PeterKlesken: Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.
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@RamblingMachine: You know what's sad? 3 of my team members dying of drinking poison and the last dying of a fractured neck because he didn't drink the poison
@lazerdoov: I can't prove God isn't real, but at the same time, I can't prove that my dog doesn't run a violent Asian street gang while I'm asleep.
@bobvulfov: COP: u were swerving a lot so i have to conduct a sobriety test ME: ok COP: lets get taco bell ME: no COP: text ur ex ME: no COP: ok ur good
@anildash: Eventually one of these Republican congressmen is going to find out his daughter is a woman, and then we're all set.