@PeterKlesken: Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.
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@longwall26: Review of "grandma": slow, slow-witted, terrified of technology, can't bench for shit, no karate, basically racist ★☆☆☆☆
@RoosterMustache: *bursts into church* DONT MARRY THAT WOMAN ... Undertaker: "This is a funeral" ... OKAY WELL IT STILL HOLDS TRUE, DONT MARRY HER
@causticbob: Today. I. Realized. That. Typing. Like. This. Doesn't. Make. Your. Point. Stronger. It. Makes. You. Look. Like. Your. Computer. Has. Asthma
@DancesWithTamis: Confuse your least favorite person at work by moving in slow motion when they're the only person watching you