@PeterKlesken: Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.
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@HeyZeus666: Now 91 is waving his diaper over his head while 86 is running down the street naked with 79's pants. Working in the old folks home is hard.
@Steven37366100: Me : Well, despite the difficulties, we’ve made the best of a bad situation Life: Yeah, I’m going to need those lemons back
@HollyMemphis: Praying mantis walks up to his buddies with no head, "Guess who got laid last night?"
@sexypitabread: I accidentally said "pastryarchy" instead of "patriarchy" and now I have a vision for a better world