@PeterKlesken: Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.
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@Fred_Delicious: [penguin waddles into computer repair store] "Hi yes my laptop is frozen" ... Computer repair guy - "how did you get to Milwaukee"
@jonnysun: WHITE GIRL: im not a dog person, im not a cat person, im a people person ME: (whispering to my dog) i think that means she owns slaves
@rohmontgomery: I am upset with my parents for making me exist. u just decided to make a person one day? who's gonna pay my bills? me? I didn't ask for this