@PeterKlesken: Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.
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@SeanBlazed: The best thing about the Transformers trilogy was the part in the first one when my brother went to go get popcorn and fell down the aisle.
@wolfpupy: "i wouldnt be caught dead" someone throws a net over my dead corpse "gotcha!!" "noooo"
@CornOnTheGoblin: A nationwide recall of the popular children's cereal Trix was issued today "Just dump them out in your garden" said one long-eared FDA agent
@abbycohenwl: *releases helium-filled heart balloon* Me: You're free now Balloon: Ima choke a bird