@LoveNLunchmeat: Before you take advice from me... you should know I walk around my house in my underwear while complaining about being cold.
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@MeganGetsMoney: Logged out of Twitter for a few hours... Finally graduated college, lost some weight, showered, read 17 books, and started a family.
@ericsshadow: My wife ordered a pizza from Papa John's but I saved a step by throwing up before it got here.
@junejuly12: Guy jogging pushing stroller for two kids. But only one there. Don't think he knows he lost one.
@dshack8: Usain Bolt doesn't know shit bout speed compared to a parent putting their hand over their kids mouth when they see someone w/ an eye patch.