@Mr_Kapowski: *begins massaging shampoo into her hair*
*purposely gives her a wet willy*
Her: Hey! I’m gonna get you fired from this salon!
Me: *whispers in her ear* Good luck. I don’t work here
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@InternetHippo: “What attracted you to our company?” Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work
@BlindChow: [pitching script] WRITER: then the motorcyclist removes their helmet… PRODUCER: *yawns*…and its a woman? W: it's a burrito P: holy shit
@thejennyleone: Date a person who doesn't use drugs so they won't use yours.
@Parkerlawyer: Just settled a divorce over Parrot custody/visitation. Neither may teach it negative phrases abt the other. I went to law school for this.
@crunchenhanced: I like my women how I like my microwaved food. Hot as hell on the outside and cold as ice on the inside.
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