@Mr_Kapowski: *begins massaging shampoo into her hair*
*purposely gives her a wet willy*
Her: Hey! I’m gonna get you fired from this salon!
Me: *whispers in her ear* Good luck. I don’t work here
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@Reverend_Scott: Don't forget to sacrifice your own personal goals to live up to someone else's expectations today!
@HousewifeOfHell: Stay in school, kids. No, I mean really. Don't come home. We need a break.
@Brentweets: "Do you need help with your math homework Billy?" "Yeah I sure do Dad!" "Well you're shit out of luck"
@InternetHippo: *turns on the news* I wonder if things are getting better in the wor-- tv: AN ALLIGATOR ATE A BABY
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