@BrattyBarbie: Behind every successful man stands a surprised woman and behind her stands the surprised mother-in-law and behind her,your surprised Dad.
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@MariyaAlexander: I can judge the goodness of my sex life by the loudness of the terrible music the neighbors are blasting
@shkeeber: There's no easy way to tell someone you lost their kid in a high stakes game of duck duck goose.
@ThatRascalPuff: No need to write it down, I've a photographic memory *looks hard af* *pukes polaroid*
@Dutch_50: Ask someone how they're doing & they'll say fine. Share with them a random health issue & wait for the 20 min dissertation on their ailment.