@VancityReynolds: Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.
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@PaperWash: wish I never spent that $20 my grandma gave me when I was 12, I could really use it right now
@SteveDutzy: Remember, if you get dumped, it's only because they're looking for someone sexier and more attractive. It has NOTHING to do with you.
@jessokfine: [Sexting] "So, what are you wearing?" A nice blouse and a light sweater. Sensible shoes.
@EddieMcSugarnut: I'm just a naked guy in an elm tree noticing the creepy way you stare at me through your bathroom window.