@VancityReynolds: Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.
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@WilliamAder: I think Diane knows I was her Secret Santa at this morning's office party, because this afternoon I had to borrow my stapler back from her.
@Molly_Kats: WHO ARE YOU RUNNING FROM IN YOUR OWN APARTMENT YOU FAT MONSTER NEIGHBOR I shout to my ceiling.
@mortimermaiden: Me: Wanna take this upstairs? Her: Mhm, but you should know it's my first time Me: Don't worry, upstairs is like the downstairs, just higher