@Gupton68: Being a parent is hard work, but it’ll all be worth it when I need donors for a new liver.
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@: I'd like to thank whomever told my mom that WTF means "wow that's fantastic." Her texts are so much more fun now.
@JRobb773: Life is full of lovely, unexpected surprises, like watching two pigeons attack this guy on the street for no reason.
@juliussharpe: The record companies have done a good job of fighting piracy by releasing music no one wants to steal.
@dafloydsta: How to annoy your children: Me: Don't come in here without knocking Child: Ok *leaves* *knocks* M: Who is it? C: It's me! M: Go away