@abhorrent_wife: Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don't have to share.
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@AthenaMystique: Just saw a sign advertising crabs and clams. I don't know about you, but I prefer to keep the crabs away from my clam.
@gitson_shiggles: Turns out that when asked which was my favourite of all the X-Men that "Caitlyn Jenner" was not a valid answer.
@tastefactory: *spills wine on Ouija board* OUIJA: *moving pointer by itself* H-E-Y S-S-E-X-Y D-Y-O-O-U-W-W-A-N-N-A M-A-K-E O-U-T ME: *moves pointer to NO*