@Priscilla_YEAH: Being a parent means often saying your child is shy rather than "he sees how creepy u are, that's why he doesn't want to shake your hand".
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@QwertyJones3: But my sandwich is so dry! "Sorry sir, that's not what we do here at the Mayo Clinic."
@ch000ch: [slowly rises from trashcan while 2 friends are making plans without me] i am also free that day.
@VodkaThursday: In 5 yrs I will be drinking from a crystal decanter discussing affairs & murders in my upper middle class community. Also, I will have a hat
@Carbosly: Right about now, family members all over the country are realizing the Starbucks cards I gave them for Christmas are empty.