@TheMichaelRock: Being a parent to a teenager is basically like being an unpaid, under appreciated Uber driver.
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@dorsalstream: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Let he who is without stone come down to Steve's Stone Supply, Exit 13A off the NJ Turnpike.
@primawesome: My neighbor told me she doesn't care what people think about her. So I told her I think about her naked. Turns out she's a hypocrite.
@Brampersandon_: GUY (whose car died): can u help me? I need a jump ME (pulling a trampoline out of my trunk): im always prepared for emergencies like this