@Xoolun: Being a single man has to be depressing when you think that even a guy like Hitler had a girlfriend.
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@speevis: Back from my bike ride and I feel fit as a fiddle ... the fiddle, ya know, that most athletic of instruments...
@LuckoftheDraw86: I dropped my iPhone under the bed once so I get it, moms that lift cars off their babies, I get it.
@Ohgoddessitsme: My fathers wife bought a "Christian cookbook" I didn't even know they had different recipes, I've been eating sin all along.
@TheRolo: [1st date] Her: I love quail Me: Omg me too! H: Love Cher M: Omg me too! H: Love men Me: Omg me too! H: Love Pepsi M: WTF is wrong with you?