@Xoolun: Being a single man has to be depressing when you think that even a guy like Hitler had a girlfriend.
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@ambienbabe: I say "fight me" a lot for a girl that's 5'2" and has a tough time opening some doors because they're too heavy.
@benerdist: A spider just tried to crawl across my hand and now how do you extract a fork from bone without causing more damage?
@CleverGirl85: Trolling my FB friends by commenting "Looking good ;)" on solo pics of their husbands
@Smooheed: Huh, this is a first Never had an ambulance follow me to the gym before They must know