@WheelTod: [business meeting at restaurant] "There's more than one way to skin a cat" [Family of cats at next table] *mom cat puts paw on cat dad's arm

@TheTweetOfGod: The platypus is what happens when you take a perfectly good concept and send it to network executives for notes.

@FaisalAdam_: Growing up, I had lots of nicknames but my best would always be 'Officer! That's him over there'... It gave me my sprinter's physique.

@DothTheDoth: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle & explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

@jergarl: ALL OF THE ANIMALS ARE TALKING THIS IS THE BEST ACID EVER LOL -Dr. Dolittle