@Xoolun: Being a single man has to be depressing when you think that even a guy like Hitler had a girlfriend.
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@seanforhire: i hate when someone rings my doorbell because then i have to drop whatever i'm doing to be silent and pretend i'm not home.
@KKAlThani: Imagine a shark eating pizza. Imagine you were frog. Imagine a donkey wearing a skirt. Imagine someone telling you to imagine stupid things.
@TheSnideOne: Face tattoos are a great way to let people know that you don't owe on any student loans.
@mewritesgood: I bought my nephew a drum set because: A) I'm an awesome uncle B) Learning to play an instrument is important C) I hate my sister