@Xoolun: Being a single man has to be depressing when you think that even a guy like Hitler had a girlfriend.
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@WheelTod: [business meeting at restaurant] "There's more than one way to skin a cat" [Family of cats at next table] *mom cat puts paw on cat dad's arm
@TheTweetOfGod: The platypus is what happens when you take a perfectly good concept and send it to network executives for notes.
@FaisalAdam_: Growing up, I had lots of nicknames but my best would always be 'Officer! That's him over there'... It gave me my sprinter's physique.
@DothTheDoth: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle & explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.