@internetluke: Being a software engineer is pretty cool because I can just stare at my screen/zone out & if anybody questions me I say I'm optimizing code
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@Sickayduh: ME: What's your favorite movie? DATE: Girl Interupt- ME: *drops fork* What is it? DATE: Girl Interu- ME: *burps* Sorry. Go on. DATE: Fargo
@kentgrossarth: Me: Nice flowers. Co-worker: They're from my boyfriend. Now I'm going to spend all weekend w/my legs in the air. Me: Don't you have a vase?
@jonnysun: "no one cares abot ur plan to dig to the center of the earth! the world doesnt revolve around you!" she said. "IT WILL IF MY PLAN WORKS THO"
@QwertyJones3: "Doctor, I'm afraid of people yelling letters of the alphabet at me." THERAPIST: Oh! You are? WHY???