@thatdutchperson: Being a Zombie doesn't sound that bad. You don't have a job and your entire day is spent looking for things to eat. Shit, I do that now.
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@DontDraketheIce: Go to a botanical garden? Haha, yeah, okay. Like I want to pay money to walk through a giant salad
@TheMichaelRock: Me: How much for the selfie stick? Him: Sir, that's an Olsen twin. Me: I'll take it.
@flashember: [zebra in prison] well this is ironic PRISON GUARD: no it isn't ZEBRA: ok but I do look kinda funny in here PG: dude, you murdered 3 people
@UncleDuke1969: *goes produce shopping* Wife: Get in line & watch the cart. Me: OK. Wife: I'll be right back. *minds peas & queues*