@RobinMcCauley: Being an adult is 99% wondering how you hurt your back.
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@ClichedOut: *delivers baby* *delivers baby* *delivers baby* *delivers baby* *delivers baby* Nurse 1: I'm exhausted. Nurse 2: I hate Labor Day.
@RaineyKnight666: Relax lady, you can quit giving me dirty looks. I don't want my own husband, so I sure as hell don't want yours.
@huntigula: "Swimming is dangerous, so I wear floaties on my arms for safety!" [cut to me floating face-down in a pool with only my arms above water]
@JediGigi: Nana said I took too much NyQuil so I laughed at her and then she turned back into a paper clip and jumped into my fave Law & Order episode.