@RobinMcCauley: Being an adult is 99% wondering how you hurt your back.
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@sofarrsogud: Of all the things we should be thankful for at this time of year, not being a turkey is probably the main one.
@Dutch_50: Me: What did she say about me? Friend: She said you ask too many questions Me: She said that? Too many questions? Really? Me? ...What else?
@nthall350: The zombie I shot earlier may have just been a kid with chapped lips. I don't take any chances.