@CatherineLMK: Being an adult is like watching a foreign movie with no subtitles in a crowded theater, everyone else knows what's going on and you just nod
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@amelialikesyou: In conclusion, members of the board, I'm sorry I brought the wrong USB, & thank you for your feigned interest in my sesame street PowerPoint
@HeyZeus666: I'm no different than any other bachelor. I put my pants on one leg at a time and clean the house once every new girlfriend.
@AdamOfEarth: January 29, 1802, 2 AM: I hope this letter finds you well. Are you up? March 2: I am, good sir April 6: Would you kindly come over? May 9: K