@DelanieFischer: Being an adult means assuming someone's dead every time your parents call you at work.
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@MrGeorgeWallace: Shout out to the top 5 phones, mega, micro, smart, speaker and get off the damn.
@zachreinert03: Saw a guy smoking while pumping gas & at first glance thought 'wow that's not safe' & at second glance thought 'wow that guy's on fire'
@AnkCoupleTO: *skydiving* Jumper: Where's your parachute? Married Guy: Don't need one J: There's no chance of survival MG: Not trying to beat the odds
@karencheee: Marrying my gay friend bc it's important for couples to have common interests and we are both interested in men!