@DelanieFischer: Being an adult means assuming someone's dead every time your parents call you at work.
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@MomOfTeen: He approaches me from behind and wraps his arms around me and I am breathless. With one firm and quick thrust, he dislodges my food.
@jordan_stratton: WINSTON CHURCHILL: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." ONE-LEGGED MAN WHO BARELY SURVIVED A SHARK ATTACK: "Yeah... and sharks"
@TheCiscoKidder: Wife: Go out for breakfast? Me: Sure! Wife: Ok, let me shower first. *showers, dresses & puts on makeup* Me: Where should we have lunch?
@HannahFlores01: Accepting water from a salesperson is a sign of weakness. *faints from dehydration*