@virtualhippie: Being high in front of your parents is like trying to do your best impression of yourself.
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@AimeeHelene1: Ma'am...we're going to have to ask you to get off of the table. Ma'am... (me, trying to cuddle with my bacon cheese fries)
@Try2StopME: Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they're fighting over the world's last Oreo.
@zachreinert03: finally sold everything that reminded me of my ex. kinda nice, I got $20 for her clothes, $50 for her tv, and $100 for our kid