@virtualhippie: Being high in front of your parents is like trying to do your best impression of yourself.
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@MariyaAlexander: More "kills" on Tinder than any man in the history of online dating, Bradley Cooper is.... American Swiper.
@secondofhername: The downside of studying law: you think a lawsuit is the solution to all problems. *resists from threatening Dominos for not giving oregano*
@BritXNic: "Creepy DM: I want to shave your legs. Me: Ew" On reflection this would have been a real time saver. If you're reading this, call me?
@PyrBliss: I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.