@JasonLastname: Being hungry again a half hour after eating Chinese food isn't about the food being Chinese, it's about you being American.
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@geo_teira: [at a restaurant] Me: uhm. This plate is broken and the food is all spread out. Waiter: yes ma'am, that's the continental drift breakfast.
@david8hughes: [interrogation] "What do u do for a living?" Jewel thief. "Louder for the tape." [leans in] Cool beef. I bring hot beef down in temperature.
@ImaFlyontheWall: Him:Dude, I went on one of those police ride alongs with my friend..it was awesome! You ever done that? Me: In the front or back of the car?