@Jessdaisy: Being in your 40's is playing a constant game of, why does this hurt? Is the color of this ok? Where did this hair come from?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@YimsterFife: I woke up with a horse's head in my bed. And straw. And the rest of the horse's body. And cows. And a tractor. And this is a barn, I guess.
@JB4Realz: HER: I'm leaving! ME: Is it because I always put Doritos in your shoes? *she just turns & walks away* (crunch) (crunch) (crunch) (crunch)
@WheelTod: [Staring at bedroom ceiling] Her:Don't worry. It happens to every guy Me:Not to me it doesn't! *resumes trying to unscrew lid from pasta jar
@peteholmes: train me. no. train me. okay. training montage. the big fight. i'm glad you trained me. i'm glad i trained you. #everyboxingmovie