@Jessdaisy: Being in your 40's is playing a constant game of, why does this hurt? Is the color of this ok? Where did this hair come from?
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@Petote: Get in the van! me?...*winks* OK, It will be unpleasant, but worth it- hey! Where are you going?! *jogs after van*
@JohnHilsen: Did you know that Mark Zuckerberg and the guy who played the blue Power Ranger are cousins? Just not to each other. But they are cousins.
@dave_cactus: [restaurant] WAITRESS: Would you like a lunch menu or a dinner menu? ME: No thanks. I don't eat menus.
@CaptainObtuse: Just printed out 50 copies of today's weather forecast to carry around with me today because I'm just not in the mood for small talk.