@walks_on_legs: Being Man, a territorial animal, I assert dominance by sending Facebook Pokes.
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@joeljeffrey: My dad shouted "shut up idiots" to the cats. I told him "You're speaking English to a cat. You're the idiot. You have to meow at them."
@wolfpupy: my street gang has been walking down the street snapping our fingers in unison for like 3 days, we all forgot why we were doing it
@omgthatspunny: The store keeps calling me to come back and buy more bedroom furniture, but all I really wanted was one night stand.