@walks_on_legs: Being Man, a territorial animal, I assert dominance by sending Facebook Pokes.
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@robyn_vo: Remember being a kid and writing "FiretrUCK" everywhere, thinking your parents wouldn't get it? My dad just figured it out and spanked me :(
@StellaRtwot: Sometimes the last thing people hear before they're murdered is the sound of their pen that they won't stop clicking.
@david8hughes: How did you know I was a member of Al Qaida? Was it my knees? Do I have terrorist's knees? Oh, the bomb. Not the knees then? That's good.
@KindOfASmartass: I hate when you tell someone you're bored, and they suggest getting together. Then you have to explain that you're not quite that bored