@walks_on_legs: Being Man, a territorial animal, I assert dominance by sending Facebook Pokes.
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@tkhan74: I've been calling my wife "honey" for 12 years because I don't know how to tell her I forgot her name.
@ReeseButCallMeV: OMG I forgot to read my horoscope and now I have no idea what life has in store for me today!!!!!!
@brennadine: "How was the beach? You hang ten or what?" No but I stabbed a couple because they kept asking stupid questions about my vacation